Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How to talk yourself out of writing a blog post

1. At approximately 11:45 at night, realize that it's been awhile since you've blogged. Decide that it's probably a good idea to post something.

2. Sit down on the couch with blurry eyes and an even foggier brain and try to come up with something. Anything. Witty and well-written aren't even factors at this point.

3. Since nothing brilliant is occurring to you at the moment, tell yourself that it couldn't hurt to glance through your Google Reader. Perhaps something there will give you some inspiration.

4. Scan through some of your favorites blogs. Notice that everything you read is either screamingly hilarious or intensely thought-provoking. Sink into a bloggy funk because you just know that nothing you can write tonight will match anything you've just read.

5. Decide that you need a small distraction. Tell yourself that you can get on Facebook for 5 minutes. That's it. Just. five. minutes.

6. Make the mistake of clicking on the most addictive word game ever, Word Challenge.

7. Notice with horror that your top score has been roundly beaten by your sister, and that she is now an Anagram Cyborg while you are still a lowly Philosopher. Tell yourself that you are not competitive and that it doesn't matter.

8. Snap out of your denial and realize that you ARE competitive. Very, very much so. Proceed to spend the next 38 minutes trying to beat her score. Come no where close. Sink into a Facebook funk because your scores are only getting lower with each successive try.

9. Remember that, oh yeah, I'm supposed to be writing a blog post. Look at the clock. Take a moment for your fuzzy brain to realize that it's now 12:56.

10. Decide that you are far too tired to formulate any coherent thoughts. Shut down the laptop, which has been on so long and has become so hot that it has been burning up your legs without you even realizing it.

11. Go to bed, where you stare into the dark and compose the best blog post EVER in your head. Think about getting back up to write it down, but decide that's silly. You can write it in the morning.

12. Get up in the morning. Have absolutely no recollection of what the best blog post EVER was about.

I know, I'm crazy, right? I'm sure this NEVER happens to anyone else.

In other news...I've been frantically working to get my Blog Design site up and running. It's almost there, just a few more tweaks. And we do have a winner from my Name that Blog Contest, but I am waiting to reveal it until my site is ready to go. Just thought I'd mention it so you don't think that I am trying to skip out on awarding the $20 gift card.

29 comments:

H-Mama said...

oh nooooooo... that never happens to me. fresh ideas all the time here in blogdom. joke.

stackups... people call them different things. it's just ground meat, refried (fat-free) beans, tomatoes, baby spinach, fat-free feta... and anything else you can imagine all served with chips. we use reduced fat triscuits as our chips. quick, easy, healthy ;)

Carrie said...

OH, so funny, true...and sad...hee hee! I live my life wondering if it is blog-worthy! I was up last night too, because I was thinking if I should add captions to my wordless Wednesday, or leave it alone...so I got up and turned on my dying laptop and added a few words...ha ha! Can't wait to see the new site!

Wendi@EveryDayMiracles said...

That happens to me on at least a weekly basis. - Not the part about being upright past midnight mind you, but formulating posts - really good ones - in my head when I should be sleeping, only to forget them completely in the am.

This cracked me up. :) It's so true!

And of course I had fun getting a peak at your competitive side. :)

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

11 and 12 happen to me ALL the time...why is that?!?

sara said...

I am competitive too! that actually is quite an understatement......we would make a good pictionary team!

Rachel said...

Very funny and true! The best blog post are composed in my head when I should be sleeping!

jennifer said...

Im constantly staring at an empty screen waiting for inspiration... i like to look at my photos - it helps job my memory a bit.

Sadly, i did NOT find a bathing suit there. my friend maribeth suggested that i go there b/c that's where she found her's (and a SUPER cute cover up too btw). i didn't have any luck, though. I ended up finding one at Target. Thank Goodness for Target.

Elizabeth said...

I know how you feel! I wrote blog posts in my head yesterday while I was trying to nap, and then forget every word of them. I love staying up late, but I have to admit that my brain doesn't necessarily feel the same way. I get all loopy.

SO glad you're going to do your blog design business. I'll advertise for you!

Jamie said...

Too funny! That so happens to me!

Can't wait to see your new blog design site...are you open for new customers?

SarahHub said...

Oh, I can relate to this!

Facebook is my blog's nemesis. And I compose the best post EVER while falling asleep all the time. Still waiting to actually compose it on the blog!

Sincerely Anna said...

I don't think it's possible to be on Facebook for only 5 minutes! Very funny post and I can't wait to see your new site!

Erin K. said...

Nope, that's NEVER happened to me. I have NO idea what you are talking about. ;-)

Can't wait to see the new site!

Unknown said...

I am always writing posts in my head! I often come up with them at night. I have learned to keep a notebook and a pen by my bed. I write down what comes to mind even if it is in shorthand or bullets. Sometimes when its really late I don't even turn on the light. I just write and hope I can decipher it in the morning!

Looking forward to the grand opening of you blog design site! You'll do amazing. You have such talent!

Anonymous said...

No that NEVER happens to me. :)

I can't wait to see your design site!!!

Penny said...

LOL, Jackie, you are so funny! AND you have some of the bestest blogs ever. =)

Sara@iSass said...

I agree this was totally hilarious.
I too write the best blogs ever in my head as I'm falling to sleep...
Can't wait to hear the new name...it's like naming a baby.
You know when someone gets pregnant and someone else asks about a name, and they say "Yes, we have one but we're not telling yet." I want to say "DoH! I just can't WAIT!"

Carpool Queen said...

You should see all the "drafts" I have saved of things that are neither witty nor creative, nor thought-provoking. Probably because I've spent too much time killing brain cells on Facebook.

This was brilliantly creative, BTW.

Unknown said...

I can so relate to this and I think it's a fabulous post just like it is. The forgetting of the great post idea ... been there, done that.

The Fritz Facts said...

Happens to me all the stinkin time! I come up with the best blog posts when I am about the sleep, and never remember what they are.

Amber said...

Whoa, sister...did you pluck this out of my head or what?! Freaky.

This happens to me almost EVERY DAY!

Although my Facebook game is Tetris...all the way, baby!!

(BTW...Why aren't we FB friends?! I'm going to get right on that!)

Rach@In His Hands said...

You just described me to the T! This is the story of my bloggin' life.:-) Although....I always love what you have to say, so you can't be struggling too much, girl!

Rachelle said...

I just love your posts, but I understand the feeling of nothing coming to mind when your ready to blog. I have been in that funk since my blog break. Can't wait to see the site and your winner! FUN STUFF!

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

I write my best blog posts in my head, at night, in bed. But like you, I have much trouble remembering them in the mornings.

I'm also not competitive. That's a lie. I'm extremely competitive.

Glad you paved the way for honesty! And glad you get sucked into FB too.

Becca~CapturingSimpleJoys said...

Oh my goodness, I could have written this! I read through my google reader and then by the time I'm finished feel like I've read everything there is I want to say anyway!

Lizz @ Yes, and So is My Heart said...

You are seriously NOT capable of writing anything but the BEST posts. This one was fun.

Glad you are starting your own business. Fun, fun!

Gretchen said...

#4 and I are close friends.

I find comfort in knowing that somewhere in NM, there's a time waster just like me. :)

Heather of the EO said...

Oh my goodness, that was sooooo funny. I love you even more now.

I mean, I NEVER do this :)

Miss Lisa said...

Oh that never happens to me...I also manage to always have a spotless home, well behaved kids and a full 10 hours of sleep a night.

(All the above were total LIES of course!)

You summed up blogging perfectly--great fab post!

Michelle@Life with Three said...

So funny, Jackie! I think we were twins separated at birth. That is exactly what happens to me. (Everything except the Facebook, because I still haven't gotten on it yet!).