Of toothbrushes and surrender

Savannah has two Dora the Explorer toothbrushes. Before I wised up and put a stop to it, I used to let her carry around her toothbrush after my (pitiful) attempt at brushing her teeth every night, because she would insist that it was "her turn". Only problem was, she would get distracted, and the toothbrush would be cast aside at various and sundry places around the house. Which meant that we would sometimes go a few days without proper dental hygiene because of said lost toothbrush. Plus....probably not so sanitary, because my floors? They leave a little to be desired.

So after two of her toothbrushes had mysteriously disappeared, I bought another one and told her that she couldn't carry it around anymore. This announcement didn't go over so well, but she learned to deal. And then a few days later she unearthed one of the missing ones, so now we have two.

Ok, as a side note, I have something to admit. I hate brushing Savannah's teeth. Frankly, if I didn't think I would be doing permanent damage to them, I would skip it all together, or just let her chew on a toothbrush and call it close enough.

I sit her on the bathroom counter and we have a scuffle because she wants to hold the toothbrush, and then the tube of Diego toothpaste, and then my toothbrush, and then if she is feeling particularly uncooperative, she giggles and clamps her mouth around the toothbrush so that I cannot see her teeth. By the time I get a few good brushes in, my patience is gone and I comfort myself with the fact that they are just her baby teeth and if I ruin them with shoddy dental care, we'll get another shot at it in a few years with her permanent teeth.

She likes to play a game with me every time. She picks up both toothbrushes and holds them out to me. "Which one, Mama?" She knows that we only use the newer (and presumably cleaner) toothbrush, the Mermaid one. "Dora Princess? Or Mermaid?"

And I make a grab for the Mermaid. "This one!"

She giggles and pulls it away from me and tries again. "Nooooo. Which one, Mama?" This time only offering the Princess toothbrush and hiding the Mermaid behind her back. "Which one you like, Mama?"

It always makes me laugh, her childish way of getting me to pick the one that she wants me to use.

And it makes me think. Lately I've been feeling a lot like this myself. My conversations with God have been eerily similar to the ones I have with Savannah. I put the things that I don't want to give up behind my back, and then reach out my other hand to Him. "Which one do you want God? The Princess, right? Surely not this, not the Mermaid, not the thing I can't imagine surrendering. What if I give it up to you and I never get it back? What if that is Your plan for me, and I don't LIKE it?"

And much like I do with Savannah, He probably smiles down at me, wondering at my childishness, wondering why I can't just trust Him with it. I know it is only in surrender that we will find His true peace, and even if He does call me to place my precious Mermaid toothbrush, my hopes and dreams, in His hand, He will bless me a thousand times over with His perfect plan. Not mine. His. He sees the big picture, and I know that picture is gonna be beautiful. Whether it has a Mermaid toothbrush in it or not.