Letting Go

I'm having a little midnight venting session.

You may or may not know that it takes a lot, a whole lot, to rile up this phlegmatic girl. Let me tell you, though, that when the right buttons are pushed, I can go from un-riled to riled in about 0.6 seconds.

I can't, or actually won't, go into too much detail here - it isn't really the time or place for it - but suffice it to say that it involves someone that basically did not follow through on their word on something that could have been a pretty big deal for us, and in the process handled it all very, very badly, and was pretty nasty about the entire thing. (oooh....now there's a major run-on sentence for you).

When Ricardo came home from church tonight and told me the story, my wifely indignation shot up through the roof. How dare they treat him like that?? I sputtered. I raved. I was hoppin' mad. And, if you look at the circumstances, I suppose I had every right to be. It was, in every regard, totally unfair.

By the way - hubby doesn't need me to fight his battles for him. He does just fine on his own. But...that's my man you're messing with here!

So I spent the evening stewing about it, and then I went to bed. And I felt it gnawing away in the pit of my stomach, that awful twisted feeling that won't let you rest and makes you feel worse by the second.

So I have to let it go. But if I'm being honest, there is a part of me that just doesn't want to. What I really want to do is scream and holler a little bit, throw a grown-up fit, maybe run to whoever will listen and say, "Do you know what just happened?"

In the grand scheme of things, it is such a small little thing, and I realize that. Does it hurt? Well, sure, but it doesn't come close to some of the intense things that so many are dealing with.

So I'm not pretending it doesn't hurt. Instead, I am acknowledging that what was done wasn't right, and then I am just handing it to the Lord. Who knows...maybe this is His way of protecting us from something on down the line.

Forgiveness...easy to talk about, hard to do.

But in some bloggy cathartic way, just getting it out has made me feel better.