Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Where I belong

My sister flew in from LA last night for a short visit. She was scheduled to arrive at 10:45, but she was delayed and didn't get in until after midnight. My family was fast asleep as I slipped out of the house and drove off into the night to pick her up.

I rolled the windows down as I drove and let the cool, end-of-summer-but-not-quite-fall air wash over me. The radio played a country song, one that seemed to beckon me on a long road trip. For a second, I was just girl, traveling down a dark road in the middle of the night. I wasn't a mama, I wasn't a wife, or someones daughter or sister, I was just me. I could be going anywhere. I could take off and drive to Texas, or turn around and run away to Colorado. Or Idaho. I could stop when I wanted, drink in the sunrise by myself, go all the way to the ocean if I wanted. The feeling of freedom coupled with the breeze blowing all around me was exhilarating.

The moment passed seconds later when I pulled up to the airport pick-up and my sister jumped into the car. We jabbered non-stop to the house like sisters do. We entered the house a little too loudly, and shushed each other as we giggled and talked, trying not to wake up Ricardo and Savannah.

Eventually we said good-night. I walked by Savannah's closed door, imagining her in peaceful sleep, her chest rising and falling with even cadence, and my heart whispered, I love you. I entered my room and settled in bed, knowing that my hubby was fast asleep and feeling secure with his presence.

I am a wife. A mother. A sister. A daughter. A child of God. But I am still me.

And I'm exactly where I want to be.

17 comments:

mamajil said...

I love this post! Sometimes, its nice to be just "you". A long time ago I was at a convention and I heard a Christian speaker speak on family and its importance...but one thing she said was that Mom's shouldn't wait until their kids were grown to do things they like to do. Our kids need to know that we have hobbies, and favorite things to do, so that they can appreciate whats important and special to you.

My kids know I love to read,&I love dishes, antique dishes off of e bay :) when they see me looking at dishes they will sit on my lap and say things like oooh that would be a pretty place setting at thanksgiving etc. Or if they see I have gotten an email alerting me that another piece of my favorite china has been found....they can't wait till I check and see if we already have that piece...
All that to say its great to be "just us" and for our kids to see us as individuals too!

Have a great day!

Casey said...

Girl, this was beautiful!! Perfectly said. Thanks for sharing you heart. I love it!

THE ROOST said...

What a beautiful post! It made me cry, in a good way though....I think it may be my favorite post from you......so far :0) Thanks for touching my heart!

SarahHub said...

I heart this post! Well said! I bet every mom can relate to this one!

Kellie said...

HAve a great time with your sister!

The Sullivan Sitcom said...

You totally just brought tears to my eyes! You should be very proud to be you!
Have a great visit!

Queen to my 3 Boys said...

I wonder how many mamas echo those thoughts.

Wife, mother, sister, daughter, child of God, but still me.

Loved this post.

Gretchen said...

So cool. This is a printer-outer-and-framer if I've ever seen one. You're right--exactly where you want to be. Awesome post.

Jennifer @ Taking My Time said...

Very beautiful, Jackie!

How about some pictures of you and your sister? :)

Marci @Finding Joy in the Journey said...

I think it's in those moments we realize how free we really are and it makes it more precious to know that we choose consciously or not everyday to be right where we are, right were God put us.

Have some great sister time!

Jenn said...

Beautiful post!

mamachristina said...

a beautifully written post. I love your lightheartedness.

MoziEsmé said...

What a lot of hats! I love that you seem so content with them all.

Lizz @ Yes, and So is My Heart said...

I get that. You said it so very well.

Michelle@Life with Three said...

Loved that. The writing was beautiful. I felt the freedom along with you!

jennifer said...

Oh... Thanks for sharing that. :-)

Krystal said...

Hi! I just popped over from It's almost naptime!! to congratulate you on winning. Of course, I had to read a little. This post was soooo sweet! I enjoy your writing! Anyway, congrats and what a sweet family!

A sister in Christ,
Krystal in TX