Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Adjusting

Our days during this past week have been turned upside down. After talking it over, we decided that it would be a really good idea for Ricardo to get a night job so that we could have a steady income while waiting on some key things for the business. He was lucky enough to find one that gives him mostly 3rd-shift hours, so that he is still around to deal with the business during the day. In all honesty, it is not how I would have chosen to have things turn out. I would have chosen for a boatload of money to be poured out upon us, but sometimes my way is not the right way. Or the most realistic. This job is necessary, and I'm not complaining. And I still fully believe that things will turn around, and that this will be a temporary solution.


So I am adjusting my day to accommodate this weird new schedule. I am getting up earlier (so not my favorite thing to do, but I have no choice when Savannah starts hollering at 6:45 that she wants to get up. And for this night owl, it is nothing short of torture). I am starting dinner mid-afternoon so that we can eat early enough for Ricardo to get to work on time. My bed hasn't been made at all this past week, because Ricardo has been catching short naps whenever he can, and I don't see the point in making the bed 3 times a day. It makes me feel unfinished to leave it unmade, but I guess I can get over that.


When I put Savannah to bed at night, she asks where Daddy is. She misses him during prayer time, but when I tell her that he's at work, she says, "Ok. Pray for Daddy."


I was thinking last night as I lay in bed how independent I used to be. Going places by myself at night, taking walks alone in semi-dangerous neighborhoods without a second thought (although looking back on it now - not smart), moving across state lines without knowing a single soul in my new city. How things have changed. Oh, I'm still my own person, of course. But I've noticed that when Ricardo is gone, I am a little jumpier. I don't really want to venture out into our neighborhood to take a walk with it being just me and Savannah. The creaks and cracks that emanate from the house at night seem a little more ominous. It takes me a little longer to fall asleep at night, and the bed is much, much colder. It's funny how you gradually become dependent on just knowing someone else is around.

As I'm getting older, I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I am a scheduled person. And I don't like change. For the longest time, I would try to convince myself otherwise. When taking a personality test, I would look at the question that said, "Are you spontaneous! and fun-loving! and adaptable!, or scheduled and a list-maker and orderly?" And I would think, Oh for sure, the first one. That sounds fun! I can be spontaneous. If I really WANT to be. The other choice just sounded too restrictive and boring, and who wants to be associated with that?

But I'm no longer in denial. I like things to be planned. I make lists. I don't like my schedule to get out of whack. And when a situation comes along like the one we're currently in, well, things are bound to get out of whack. So I can either become stressed out, or I can attempt to go with the flow. I've been trying to choose the latter.

That's not to say, though, that when 9:00 rolls around and I tuck Savannah in and we say a volley of "I love yous" as I walk out the door, that I don't breathe a sigh of relief. The day is over, and I have a little "me" time to recharge and ready myself for whatever is upcoming.

And I am now noticing that it is 1:00, so that gives me...what, 5? Maybe 6 hours of sleep before my princess beckons me in the morning?

Time to head in. Goodnight...

31 comments:

Casey said...

I am the same way. I used to be so independent and would forge ahead with my own plans and ideas. Now I have found I rely on my husband so much. Not in a bad way, but it's just better when he's around. He is, after all, my best friend.

Good luck with the getting up earlier thing... I have an early riser too so I am right there with ya! :)

Smilingsal said...

A big part of your being jumpy could be that you are responsible not only for yourself but for the safety of that princess.

Amanda said...

i got to the paragraph about the schedule and routineness...the loss of spontaneity...and i thought, "wait...did she steal this from my brain?!" i completely understand! and i am praying for you as you make these adjustments to schedules and get used to "daddy" being gone at bedt and prayer time...

Kim @ Up North Mommy said...

I know the feeling that comes after realizing you are no longer the independent woman you used to be. I still felt very independent until we had kids and I chose to stay home with them. Feeling completely dependent on my husband is not the best feeling in the world, but it's important to both of us that I be home with the kids.

Once all three of them are in school full time I'll go back to work, which will help me gain back more of my independence.

Wendi said...

Oh those lovely adjustments... :) I'll be praying for you as you modify your routine a bit. I totally get this. :)
I've bestowed a bloggy award upon you, my brain sharing friend. I'm not sure what you have already received, so feel free to do with it what you choose. If you've already 'been there done that' don't feel obligated to go through it all again. :) I just couldn't do an award give away without you being a recipient... Although, is that kind of like giving it back to myself...? Anyway...
I enjoyed the last comment you made on my blog - finding, once again, a relatable experience in our growing up years. Yes, I think we could have many a story to share. :) I didn't see an email option on your blog - but haven't looked real hard yet. :)

Jenn said...

I too like a plan!

Gretchen said...

*sigh* Praying for you, sweet Jackie. It's not easy, but you'll find your way. Sounds like you're already 1/2 way there. Adjustments are rough for the likes of us. :)

Tracey said...

I to am a creature of habit and love a schedule. Adjusting to a new one is not something I do well. God will protect you at night while Ricardo's at work. My husband works a wierd schedule too, but I've actually gotten used to the wierdness (somewhat). I'll pray that everything goes smoothly. God Bless!

mamachristina said...

I was so independant too and now I want my husband to take care of me and be my leader. As for the unmade bed, if it doesn't go unmade now wait till you have another child because it will never get done then. Good luck with your transitions, god bless.

Jamie @ Purposeful Pursuit said...

I'm a list-makin', schedule kinda girl myself. Change is always hard.

Blessings From Above said...

I love lists, staying up late and sleeping in. I feel your pain! :)

MoziEsmé said...

Get to sleep! Sounds like a tough adjustment with the job, though. Praying that you all keep having quality time together . . .

The Fritz Facts said...

My hubby has worked overnights for almost two years. We love not having to pay for daycare, and having someone here when Boo gets off the bus. It has worked well for us, the timing and sleeping. Before that he worked every single weekend. That was horrible! I hated it. Give me overnights anytime.

After two years, I still jump at every noise, and keep a bat in my room. All the doors and windows are checked so many times, just to make sure. I even lock the door that comes inside from the garage, and the garage is locked down too.

Becky said...

Change and transition times in a family are difficult! Rely on your faith to keep you strong and to persevere through it all!

THE ROOST said...

Girl, I think that dependence on your husband is maturity. You & your husband are truly becoming one. I admire you adjustment plan! Keep up the great attitude!:)

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

You'll adjust soon. My hubby worked nights for many years and we just got used to it. It was just for a season. Just think of it as a chance to really enjoy your alone time.

Kellie said...

I'm with you on change...it's never easy for me.

I pray that this change will be a short lived one!

Hang in there!

Mom said...

When did you become your Mother...night owl, planner, list maker, scheduled person, don't like change??

I know you are growing so much through this time!

Smilingsal said...

Stop by my blog. I have something for you.

kaleytaylor said...

Hang in there! Good for you for being such a good mommy/wife and for being so selfless and doing what is best for your family!

REAL ME said...

I am sure it is a little trying to have to adjust. But you will. I know what you mean by a unmade bed~!

Amanda said...

just a quick note to let you know that if you would really like me to make one of those dresses for savannah, just let me know. i'm sure i can still find more of that fabric...so i would just need to know what size she is. e-mail me (theyakmom AT yahoo DOT com) and let me know if you are interested and we can talk about a price. i have totally thought about opening an etsy store to sell the shoes and dresses and such that i make, just haven't gotten around to it yet...so perhaps i can just do it per order (which would be easier anyway) if people are actually interested.

Jodie said...

I so relate to what you're saying. I have become very dependent on having Stretch around too... and it is especially hard if he's gone at bedtime b/c I get jumpy too. I'm a MUCH BETTER sleeper when he's with me.
I hope this situation is very temporary and over soon for y'all. I know that's a hard adjustment to make.

Tara said...

I LOVE the comment about you becoming your Mom!
Just so you know you are the best list making, schedule following, change resisting friend I could hope for!
I will be praying for you as you go through these changes.

Darcie said...

I'm not a change girl either. But it sounds like you're making a go at it so good for you. Hang in there. It's only temporary right?

Irritable Mother said...

Yep, lists and plans are my tendency, too.
And I don't like those personality tests asking about spontaneity. Makes me feel like I'm going to score "not a fun person." Oh well, I am who I am! And if having fun is on my list then, by golly, we're going to have fun!!! LOL

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post about your daughter growing up. (Tried to comment there, but couldn't for some reason.) Aspects of what you said reminded me of parts in both of my books, and I just wanted to reach out and hug you. *grin* Thanks for sharing your heart.

screamofcontinuousness said...

you will adjust. It will all be okay. This is just a new and different schedule.

and don't worry about sounding boring on those personality tests. I'd much rather call it "stable, dependable, solid, organized"

See? don't those sound better?

Michelle@Life with Three said...

Change is hard. Adjusting to new schedules is hard. But, you're doing it right, just taking it one day at a time.

I, like you, can be very scheduled and orderly. It's hard for me to make changes. I need to readjust my schedule from staying up to late to getting up earlier, as well. It's proving to be a challenging task!

Keep your chin up! :)

Genny said...

Jackie,
Hope you are getting some rest, and that the new schedule settles in nicely for you. My husband used to travel a ton, so I know how that is to be "a little jumpier", etc. I'm sure everything will work out well!

I wanted to say thanks, too, for the sweet pacakge in the mail from your giveaway! What a NICE treat! I apprecate it,

Genny

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

I love to schedule, make lists. I guess this is why God gave me 4--there is no real schedule no matter how hard I try, something happens!

Marci @Finding Joy in the Journey said...

You have just entered my time zone. I need time at the end of the day where it is quiet and no one talks to me so 1 am is very familiar to me!

We have gone down the business road and our lives have taken wild twists and turns along the way. I'd like to say it all came up roses. Well, honestly, it has but not even slightly close to how I would have planned or hoped. Sometimes no matter how much we'd like to plan it, the big Guy knows more than we do! I can say that looking back... not so much at that moment!