One night this week...

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you are one day ahead the entire week? You start off thinking that your Monday is Tuesday, and it just goes from there. It feels so much like a Friday to me right now, and yet it's only Thursday. I blame my hubby's wacko schedule, and the fact that Savannah has been testing the waters with a newfound sassy (read: rebellious) attitude. And also that I babysat for 4 kids 3 and under yesterday afternoon, which is a post in and of itself. Lets just say that I have a newfound respect for those of you that have a bunch of little ones that are close in age...you are awesome.

Monday evening I was running the water for Savannah's bath. I stepped out momentarily to gather a few things. And also I might have run really fast to the kitchen to check my email. Because I am obsessed like that. It only took a few seconds, and I hurried back to the bathroom. Savannah stood by the tub, proudly pointing and saying, "Look, water!"

I did a double take and gasped. She had taken two of my purses, emptied them, and flung everything into the bath. Cell phone. Wallet. Money. Makeup. All bobbing up and down in the water. It would have made a fantastic photo for the blog, but my mind did not go in that direction. I screamed, fairly loudly I'm afraid, and then started flinging water everywhere as I scooped everything up and on to the counter. I completely lost it. Why? Why? Why would you do this? Don't you know....Her eyes were big as she watched me fly around on the verge of lunacy while the words spewing from my mouth grew louder and louder.

She shouldn't have done it. Obviously. And she was disciplined for it, because she really did know better. But after calming down, I realized how poorly I had handled it. Have you ever been to a store and seen a little kid doing something he's not supposed to? And then the mother starts to berate him, loudly and with way more force and ranting than is necessary? Sometimes with screaming that can be heard across the parking lot? I have. And I usually cringe and want to run and give the little kid a hug. Not because the correction is unnecessary, but because the way it is done seems out of line.

So maybe I don't scream and go crazy and yell at my child in public. But what makes me think it is ok in the privacy of my own home? It doesn't do any good. For a split second, it might have made me feel better to vent. But what was done was done, and it would have been so much better for me to get down on her level, explain things to her, and then carry out the discipline. Which is what happened in the end, but only after my little hissy fit was over.

Oh, the guilt. Every night when I pray with her, I ask her forgiveness and God's forgiveness for my lack of patience and for things that spring from my mouth without compunction. I have one chance at this, and I don't want her memories of me to be one of wild flailing and foaming at the mouth and irrational behavior. I am her example. If I don't want her acting like that, then I have no business acting like that.

Thank God that He has equipped our little ones with such sweet forgiving natures that allow them to wrap their arms around our necks two seconds later and say, "I love you, Mama."

We finished up her bath, and I went to deal with the sodden contents of my purse. The cell phone was water-logged and there was no chance of it cooperating. Lisa at The Preachers Wife suggested that I bury it in a bag of rice to draw out the water, which I did. The next day, it turned on like magic, and I made a phone call to my mom to test it out. I was thrilled that it was working, until about 5 minutes into our conversation when it suddenly rebelled and shut down. I haven't been able to get it to work since then. Any ideas???

So that was the start of my week. Disobedience, guilt, forgiveness, grace, prayers, and peace. And at the end of the day, a hug and kiss and sigh of relief.